A Long Absence, or When Everything Stopped

Some important things stopped for me in the summer of 2012, and it took me a while to even know it. In July I joined that great cloud of witnesses called "the unemployed." That same month, one of my cats started peeing on the furniture, and the vet hoped it was just a UTI, but thought it was probably bladder cancer. When the antibiotic ran its course and blood appeared along with the urine I couldn't see paying for the CT scan, couldn't see continuing to pay $10 a day for pain meds so I chose euthanasia. Even though it was another expense to adopt a new Humane Society kitten, a week after Jazmine's death I thought that would be a good bit of new life. The first kitten got a name "Contessa di Como," Tessa for short, and came in all beautiful, playful and delightful. She wasn't eating the next morning and just died on her cushioned chair early in the afternoon while I was frantically trying to find a vet who would see her.

I was getting into the rhythm of writing -- or thinking about writing -- for this blog; that stopped.
I was keeping up with balancing my checkbook, reviewing my credit card statements, and keeping track of everything in Quicken; that stopped.
I was optimistic about finding a rewarding career sort of job that would pay for my expenses as a homeowner, car owner, etc. Not so much any more.

When I ask Godde what it is I need to do, what Godde wants me to do, the word has been "write" for several months now. I even have had a short list of essay topics in my head, but I didn't start because I wasn't sure why those words would matter. The direction to write is still the answer.

Since I have successfully (I think) done some new things in this self-funded sabbatical--volunteering at a food shelf, becoming a member of the board of directors of a small non-profit focused on climate change, started learning Spanish (which came as another one of those Words from Godde)--I am embarking on doing the writing about those things that have been in my head for several months. The big, church-related topics, probably won't show up here but I do have one piece that I want to try out. OK, I'll post this on go find that saved file.